What is it like to be an alumni of Columbine High School?

Although the devastating events at Columbine happened almost 10 years ago, the scars they left in peoples lives will last forever. I graduated from Columbine a year before the shootings but I can't seem to recall hardly any memories of what things were like before the tragedy took place. This dark cloud of evil came in and swept away all of the innocence, any sense of security and familarity and sucked it away without any regard for what was actually being stolen.
On occaison, I drive by the old school, reopened as if nothing had changed. The old backlit sign stands tall on the hill in front of the school, posting the upcoming happenings. The front lawn is clean and broad as it welcomes students into the big, now ominous front doors.
I visualize the rooms where students were hiding on that day of April 20, 1999. I picture Mr. Sanders, in his classroom near the cafeteria and the terrible horrors he had to experience. I put myself back in the cafetaria and the library where I often ate lunch. I can see the large two story stairway exiting the cafeteria going up to the main study areas, imagining how many students may have scurried up those stairs scrambling for their lives. The tears are inevitable, the questions are endless...then comes anger.
I remember working next door to the attackers for almost a year. Trying to recall if there were any signs or things that should have been noticed during the brief 10 minute interaction I had with at least one of them every weekend. My memory foggy and overwhelming emotions don't provide any feeling of justification to help find answers to the questions.
And then I put into perspective, my wounds are miniscule and petty compared to those who were trapped inside those walls, to those whose children were at the mercy of these hateful, angry teens, the authorities who did what they could to protect the community, kids and teachers waiting desperately inside. Everyone looking back, thoughts of what could have been done differently to change the events leading up to that day.
So many of us were robbed of so much. It's a chapter in many peoples lives that will always be held near and dear, I pray that many people have found healing, understanding and hope. We don't always know what life will bring our way, we really, truly only can live each day to its fullest and can't hold back on anything you do in life.